Friday, December 18, 2015

NYT Modern Man post

The modern man post (deleted the link, it was messing with my essay) at the NYT attracted a huge amount of comments, mostly fisking and criticism. The post itself almost seems to diverge on parody. Regardless, I've thought about it and have some comments to make. My comments are in bold. I've read some of the other criticisms, so my responses may line up with theirs.

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

Uh, no. The spouse likes the retail therapy of buying shoes and the man stays out of it. 

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

No one likes a moper, so I'd agree with this. If it's expensive or dangerous, a man lets people know when he's outside his area of expertise. "No, honey, I will not fix the leak in the shower. Faucets yes, showers are for the plumber."

3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

Well, sure be considerate, but the example is lame. Surely keeping your cell phone off and your mouth shut is more important.  

4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

It's your damn steak, eat it however you like. 

5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.


6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

Maybe he double checks the spouse's phone. The kids can keep track of their own electronic devices. 

7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.

Buy whatever you like. Offer what you like to a guest. If they want something different, say you don't have any. If they want to BYOB, mostly fine. If you have a friend who becomes an asshole when he drinks Southern Comfort, then tell him, "No, dude. You drink that shit away from me."

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

Why? Or use chopper at the tavern and helicopter when trying to impress the hot medical student's parents. Sometimes you eat your pie with a fork, other times you can eat it with your hands. (Space Cadet by Robert Heinlein)

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

Having a kid of any kind is a learning adventure. 

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

They can finish drying in the cupboard as well as in the rack. But I live in New Mexico, so YMMV.

11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.

I don't know what this is, so sure. 

12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.

I suppose assembling his tools before doing a job is good advice, but the example is trivial.

13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.

14. The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.

Use your phone if you want to. Those cents per ounce tags are sometimes wrong. 

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

No, pretty sure the spouse will care more. Hardwood floors are easier to clean, carpets are warmer. Let the spouse worry about it. And stamping around to tell his children what mood he is in is childish. 

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

Again, the spouse may have other ideas, eg "That's sweet honey, but she's your dog, you sleep on her side of the bed." or "That's sweet honey, but you want the window open when it's 50 degrees out, you sleep next to it."

17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?

Of all the kitchen wisdom he could have picked, he chose this one. How to grille, use cast iron, follow a simple recipe are far better choices. 

18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.

Uh, or he buys shoes that fit. Seriously, if you need a shoehorn, they're like $10. 

19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.


20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

Not very often. Maybe if he's been diagnosed with cancer or something, but no, not more than once per ten years. 

21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

Sure, accidents happen.

22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.

Depends on which half, and why a newspaper? If you mean, he doesn't give a shit if the neighbors see him in sweat pants and bathrobe, then sure.

23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).

Watch what you like. Who the hell is Michael Mann? I'd rather have Casablanca, Stalag 17, and the Martian. 

24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.

Direct contradiction to #6. A man should be prepared and take care of his tools.

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

If you like guns, own a gun. Enjoy the bang-bang, but do use hearing protection.

Myself, buying a gun for self defense brings up that kid from 'A Christmas Story.' I might really shoot my eye out. 

Thinking back, we weren't a gun family. You called the police for things like that. In fact, my Dad never said anything about physically defending the homestead. 

Sure a man is responsible for that, but how much is enough? Good locks, a cell phone and a dog to wake you up? Sure. Maybe add pepper spray or a taser.

But a gun? How many? One gun? Two? Is a 22LR enough or do you need a 45? One reddit post on your first gun suggested a Ruger 10/22 to learn how to shoot, a Glock for carry, an AR15 for uh, something. At what point do you shrug and say 'That's a twenty-seven ninja scenario'? You do realize violent crime is at an all-time low, right?

Dad did harp on supporting myself. He wasn't going to do it. The bill collectors come every month, so you best be able to pay them. And running a debt on your credit card is stupid. So is rent-to-own, 90% of the time. Defending yourself economically happens every month, so you better have your bank-account fu up to match your spending. 

As for physical self defense, I'm toying with the concept a man should know his fisticuffs and stay in good shape before buying a gun for self defense. So many places he won't have a gun, but having some idea how to throw a punch can't be taken from him. But I'm still sorting out this concept. 

Again, if you like guns, buy a gun. Enjoy safely. (If you like your AR because it's Legos for grownups, knock yourself out!)

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

No. When his mom, brother, college buddy or dog dies, yes. If he has to blow his nose at the end of A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life, then that's allergies, or invisible onion-cutting ninjas. But full on sobbing? Often? No. 

27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.

What? I'd say a man should know the waltz, two-step, and East coast swing, including knowing how to signal a turn. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Heinlein's 'The Moon is a Harsh Mistress' As A Movie

For many years, I've wanted to see Heinlein's last Hugo award winning novel converted to a movie. Seeing the plucky Loonies fight off the hamfisted Terran Federation would be definitely very enjoyable. Recently, however, I've come to see some major problems with the novel as a movie.

The first relates to a major issue in the novel - the low gravity of the Moon. It figures in many aspects of the storyline. The inhabitants of the Moon are permanentally adapted to the one sixth gee, and can't return to earth for any sort of normal existence. When the Federation lands troops on the moon to suppress the revolt, the troops are hampered by their inexperience, and the Loonies use this to their advantage. In any adaptation of the novel, the gravity should figure in every scene, not just a few. Depicting the low gravity is very difficult.

The movie Gravity did show zero gee very well, and for the full length of the movie. However Cuaro only had to show one person moving in zero gee- not whole families, riots and battles. The one sixth gravity would be quite the hindrance of translating the novel and it has to be shown.

Another issue is that Heinlein told us about a revolt on the moon, but did not show it. Much of the preparation of for the rebellion is laid out in expository pages. Heinlein, master that he was, got away with it, but it won't work for a video art form. The directory could opt for numerous montage scenes, but that gets old fast.

Heinlein also glossed over several character issues. He shows a long discussion with Manny and Stuart Lajoie to enlighten the reader as to the social status of females and the social heirarchy on Luna. He skips later scenes when Lajoie becomes entranced with Manny's family, and not only figures out what's going on, but joins the rebellion as soon as he's informed. In a later scene Manny complains that many of Prof's friends spoke down to him during the time when Luna was preparing for invasion. But this was never shown. The first the reader hears of it is when Manny complains about it.

The obvious solution for these two issues is of course to write more material. Introduce more characters and show them joining the rebellion and what it means. Let us see Lajoie get swayed by Wyoming Knott, watch his face as he puts clues together and figures out whats going on. Show the progression of the revolt from the formation of the cell system, to the gang rape and riots that resulted with the Loonies overthrowing the local authorities. This of course would mean not a movie, but a full HBO or Netflix style series. Maybe show three seasons, one season for the insurgency, one for the rebellion and one for fighting the invasion forces.

Finally their are several  major plot holes that need to be resolved. The first involves the various tricks Mycroft plays on the occupying forces. Unlike 1965, computers are now prevalent in society. The first thing Alvarez would think of would be computer viruses or back doors allowing access to the mainframe. As the local computer consultant, they would heavily scrutinize Manny. Perhaps some sort of LeCarre sting could be worked out to redirect attention to some one else - a very smart computer scientist on the Fed's payroll, but it would still be difficult. Alvarez would know what was happening, he just couldn't prove it. He may even campaign for a total reboot that would destroy Mycroft.....hmmm that could lead to a heist episode where Manny has to download Mycroft to a portable disk drive. Okay, maybe this plot hole could be fixed, but the writers would have to spend some time on it.

The second major plot hole involves sending convicts to the moon to do the Fed's farm labor. With a long waiting list for colonizing Mars, I don't think it would be difficult to find volunteers to colonize the moon. Why send dangerous convicts who would more like as not drag their heels and try to sabotage every project? The moon is only three seconds from the earth- many tasks could be done by drones monitored from earth. The idea doesn't make sense.

Also, consider the whole 'farming wheat on the moon to resolve a hunger crises on earth' scheme. Heinlein was only guessing at the amount of Lunar water, but we now know there isn't very much. The lunar regolith lacks carbon and nitrogen, vital necessities for any agricultural endeavors. Any scheme to send convicts to the moon to farm food for earth would just be met with a puzzled look and the question, "Why not just build more prison farms in Nebraska and Alabama?"

A plot point about the rebellion was the Loonies had to revolt or face a severe ecologic crisis as they mined the last of their water. They would not even be able to feed themselves, let alone the teaming masses of India or China. With all the current emphasis on sustainability, I'm not sure how no one would notice that the Moon is running out of water, carbon and nitrogen. The scheme in the later part of the novel where an indigenous Lunar authority increases grain shipments would be utterly ludicrous.

The idea of the descendants of convicts on the moon revolting against outside authority certainly touches part of the human spirit, but making a movie from Heinlein's book presents far too many problem. It's a shame though, because I'd love to see it.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Leverage - replace term privilege.  Privilege tends to be something people enjoy, and don't work at. Think of it as how much lever arm you have to get things done in your life. Has connotation of pushing down, working on the lever. Also applies to all sorts of situations - Parents stayed married, are supportive, culture of can do attitude. Refer to folks 'He had some short lever days but he worked hard and got ahead.'

Still not perfect. Anybody that had to pull an all nighter to get a project finished or pull multiple weeks of sixteen hour days won't like it. When you're in the trenchs hard to think about your leverage, cause working hard is hard work. Romney is a long lever guy, but wonder how much that crossed his mind in the last three weeks of the election with twenty hour days.

In real life...

These started with a joke I heard back when Independence Day came out. Supposedly during the scene where the Brett Spiner character is getting thrashed by the alien in the exoskeleton, in some theatre somewhere, a small boy piped up "In real life, Data would kick the alien's butt."

I started collecting more 'in real life' sayings, where reality gets a littly blurry. Here are two I remember, and will add more as I come across them.

During the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the governor went on TV and pathetically cried, begging the federal government for assistance. In real life, if Laura Roslin was governor, she would have organized and led her own convoy into New Orleans, twenty four hours ahead of FEMA.

While watching Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, I felt a moment of liking for Anakin Skywalker when he insisted they investigate the attempted assasination of Padma. But then I realized, in real life, Lord Auditor Vorkosigan would have unmasked Palpatine in about three days, cutting out the need for a third movie.